Lindsey's Bridal Shower in Washington DC

June 15, 2013

I graduated from high school 11 years ago.  (Gasp, I know!)  Since then I can easily count multiple baby and bridal showers I've planned or helped plan.  I've loved it.  I love celebrating wonderful life events and spoiling the women I care about.  

So, when it came to my own bridal shower, it was an odd feeling to be in the guest of honor seat rather than the hostess.  I felt shy, but in the end, felt so loved.  It's wonderful to feel the good wishes, support and love our friends have for Rob and my relationship. 

I have to share the some of the many highlights:

It started with the cupcake dress.  How cute is this?   Ms. Joni Renick is the best baker I know, and and even better hostess. These had caramel inside with vanilla bean frosting.  Yum!!

 Marla, Kellee and Joni hosted my shower and did fantastic job.  Here are some of the preparations:

Presents.  So sweet of everyone!

Kellee making Mango smoothies.

The spread.

Jenny helping out.  One of my favorite roommates!

Then the present opening came.  Everyone was so generous and I felt so spoiled!  It wasn't keen on everyone looking at me for that amount of time, but this was helped by the request to talk about Rob :)  I could talk about him endlessly.  They wanted to know everyone from how we met to how he proposed.  There's plenty to tell as we've been together for over a year now and he's done so many amazing things for us, and so many miracles have happened to bring us, and keep us together.  There was much awww'ing.

Can't remember why glasses were so funny, but we are excited to get them.  We're having a blue and yellow kitchen. 

Surprise face...For the men reading, I'll spare you the picture of the content.  It was really cute though!!  This was one of two lingerie items that I got.  My friends have good taste.

 

The ladies of the day.  These women have been such good friends to me over the years and even just recent new friends.  I can't thank them enough for their love and support, and their support of Rob and I. We will miss you A LOT.

Books for Girls

I'm helping throw a baby shower for an amazing woman- Mrs. Tara Ivie.  I adore her and Brian and can't wait to SPOIL little Baby Girl Ivie.

We are doing "A Book for Baby" Shower - asking guests to bring a book in lieu of a card if they wish.  This will help the Ivie's build their library.

I think we all love the classics of Dr. Seuss and Goodnight Moon, but recently I found a couple lists of books that I want to use when I have a little girl:

Brave Books for Girls
75 Books That Build Character

Here's to the Ivie's and their future Brave, Smart, and Beautiful little girl.  LOVE YOU GUYS!!

P.S.  I'll post pics of everything after the shower.  No spoilers here!!

In sickness and in health...

Let me tell you a story...

One day, Lindsey was walking to her car from work and thought, 'I forgot to change into my walking shoes, ah, I can wear my high heels to the store and to Rob's house, no big deal.'

Big mistake!

I was happily shopping.  I had one ingredient left on my list of items to make a dinner of meatball subs. I'm carrying my basket, and in a split second - I stepped on my right foot and slipped a little, and THERE GOES MY ANKLE!!

As I hit my knees the basket of groceries flies across the floor and I hear two people say, oh no, are you okay? Through the shooting pain of a reoccurring sprained ankle,  I'm thinking, no!

I called Rob right away. Second mistake. Not because he wasn't the person to call, but because in the pain and shock, I told him the wrong grocery store!! I said, 'I'm in the Safeway and sprained my ankle (through my tears), can you come and get me?' Turns out though, I was in Giant!

Poor Rob, he was so worried and came right away, just to the wrong store! We figured it out and he was there pretty quickly.  In the mean time, the store employees were very concerned.  I didn't realized until someone said it, but maybe because I was going to blame them.  My first thought was because they were nice, and I'm going to stick with that.  It wasn't their fault my ankle is weak sauce and I was wear slippery heals.

They got me a chair, ice and crates to prop it up on.

So there I am, sitting in a chair at the end of the frozen food aisle in Giant.  The shoppers were very nice. Many of them stopped to see if they could help. What could I say?  I'm good, I'm just going to sit here and hope I'm not flashing you (I was in a skirt), and try not to think about the pain...my boyfriend is coming.

Rob got there, helped me hop to his car, and took me to insta-care.  Poor man.  I think it was a glimpse into how much of a baby I am with pain.  He handled it well.  Calm, but all the while worried.

We decided it would be better for me to stay with him for the next few days.  Crutches, my house with two long flights of stairs, and having to get to the bus and metro...not the best combo.

We returned to the scene of the crime a few days later.  Yes, that is me on the electric cart.  It was awesome.  You don't realize how tiring crutches are until you try to go grocery shopping!  People do stare at your when you're in one of these. 

So here's the in sickness and in health part- Rob was A-mazing at taking care of me.  He wouldn't believe me when I said I didn't need help (unless I really protested), made me food, reminded me to take my medication, took me to and from work, and he never thought twice about it.  Even after all that, he said he felt helpless, like he should be doing more.  I am fully confident he will be with me in sickness and in health.  

 Update:  I'm walking without crutches and doing much better.  :)

Best Day! Rob's Baptism

February 2nd, 2013 was the best day!!  It was a day I will remember forever.  The love of my life, did something that will change his life forever.  

The reason Rob decided to be baptized into the the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is his own.  You should ask him about it!  He has a wonderful story of how Heavenly Father let him know what He wants for him.  

I can give you the facts though :)

These are Rob's missionaries.  He started with Sister Anderson (far left) and Evans (far right).  After Sister Evans was transferred, Sister Nixon (right of Rob) came.  These women have sacrificed 1 1/2 years of their life to teach the Gospel of Jesus Christ to everyone they meet.  I can not say enough, how grateful I am for their dedication.  Never, have I had more of a testimony that missionaries are inspired.  

If you know Rob at all, you're not surprised by this picture. I love his sense of humor.  The guy on the far left is Mike Robinson.  I approached Mike after Rob's first time at church.  He is the Ward Mission Leader.  There could not have been a more perfect priesthood holder to come into Rob's life.  Mike did everything he could to help Rob.  He was at many of his discussions, helped the missionaries with the baptism, opened up his home for discussions, and became friends, true friends, with both of us.   

Jared Roberts is Rob's Elders Quorum President (left of Rob). He is also a wonderful example of a righteous priesthood holder.  Jared also became a good friend to us.   Mike is on the right.

Rob was baptized about six months after he started investigating.  

First Sacrament Meeting: July 29th, 2012

First Missionary Discussion: August 10th, 2012

Rob decided to be baptized: Sunday, January 27th, 2013

Told me: January 28th! :)

Baptized: February 2nd, 2013

Confirmed: February 3rd, 2013

Receiving Aaronic Priesthood: February 10th, 2013

I have never been happier for someone.  Rob took the time to figure out for himself what he wanted.  He didn't let anyone choose for him.  And now, he's happy and confident in his decision.  I am honored I was part of his journey.  A friend of ours, after the baptism told Val, "Rob, is a future leader of the Church".  I feel the same way.

The Utah Trip: Out of Infatuation and into Love

Going to Utah with Rob for Christmas was wonderful.  It was a Christmas, for years, I had been wishing for.  Why you might ask?  Two main reasons:

Mom and Auntie Jody at Temple Square

I was able to see almost my whole family and spend time playing and talking with them.

Playing dominoes with the Hollands/Banks.

I shared the traditional Christmas activities with someone I love.  I have always loved Christmas activities like reading the Christmas Story, going to Temple Square, decorating the Christmas tree, opening presents, and watching Christmas movies.  It has been hard though, in recent years, to do these things 'alone'.  I know I was with family and friends, and I was happy and so grateful for them and my awesome life, but there always seemed to be something missing.  This year though, all my Christmas activities seemed to be more full.

Hiking in a Winter Wonderland

The lights at Temple Square

Light show at the Botanical Gardens in Virginia 

Christmas at the Washington DC Botanical Gardens

Walking around Park City

So what do I mean by Out of Infatuation and into Love?

I will explain my case study and then at the end, quote a great book on relationships I've read that helped me see this phenomenon.

Case Study:

I think most couples think they are in love before they actually are. I think they are first infatuated with each other. Now, if it's a good match, you hope they will move to love after the infatuation fades.

This might not always happen. The infatuation fades and they see each as they really are, and decide, they weren't really in love at all, or that the other person changed. This is all fine, we all just hope they didn't get married in the mean time!

So, at the risk of incorrectly pinning my relationship, I would assess, Rob and I have moved from infatuation, seen a bit of each other, who we really are, and can say, we love each other, faults and all. (Yes, I realize that was too many commas, but can't you just hear me saying that?)

Now I'm not saying there isn't more to learn.  There's lots more to know about each other and figure out in our relationship. As you can read in the book quotes, this is the beginning of actually getting to know each other, but I feel like we're on the right path.

How did I figure this out? It was after we came back from Utah.

1. We spent 10 days with each other (about 2 hrs. apart that whole time) and I still didn't want to see him leave my place when he dropped me off. This was 10 days of crazy hair and sniffles in the morning, meeting my family and friends, and me crying for almost no apparent reason.

2. We found out (even I didn't know this until now), that I have a tendency to be jealous. Now, that's mine to work on, but the awesome thing- we talked about it!  We talked about it in a calm manner! Rob was patient until I saw what I couldn't see about my behavior before. And now, we have developed a good pattern of communication and growth.

3. We aren't disparate to see each other every day. Now do I want to see him every day? Of course I do. Am I tempted to skip sleep, laundry, etc. to be with him? Of course. The difference since we came back, is though the desire is still there, we know the person will still be there tomorrow, even if we don't see them today. We make time to see each other, but have added the ability to balance the rest of life. (Helps a ton with New Year Resolutions ;)

4. We are disclosing information that requires trust and understanding. Now, of course, I can't elaborate on this, where would the trust be then? Ha.

All these things have made me realize, I totally love this man, and it's not just because I love having a date on holidays, or someone to take to the work party, or even to have someone to cuddle with- it's because we match each other and we make each others lives more full. At least I hope he would say the same thing.

Okay, enough with the cheese- here's the meat:

John Van Epp, Ph. D. has done a lot of research to write and design a book and training called ' How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk'. The Army actually uses it to help the soldiers make good marital choices.

Here's the information that I gleaned for this blog post:

'Yet the most significant patterns that influence long-term relationships are not even evident in the early stages of a dating relationship. Time is needed to expose these areas and accurately predict what these patterns mean for a future marriage and family.'

Intimacy or knowing a person = talk (mutual self-disclosure) plus togetherness (diversified experiences) plus time.

'A balance is necessary between what you know about a person from talking and what you learn from your experiences in a new relationship.'

'Therefore, to truly know another person, you must engage in a deepening openness that is matched with a variety of experiences in which you see the other person 'in action'.'

'Three months is the 'magic number'. Not until around three months into a relationship do deep-seated patterns start to become evident.
Also, the newness of a relationship is a natural inebriating effect accompanying attraction that typically begins to wear off around the third month. We put our best foot forward until we feel a bit more secure in a new relationship. Then we slack off a bit and let our imperfections surface.'

Now a lot of this can be further explained, the I = T + T + T in particular, but you get the general idea. (Let me know if you want an explanation of more of the book- I would happily write that blog!) If you've read all though this post, kuddos. It was a long, and sometimes eye-rollingly cheesey one.

Here's to Utah and love!